do you love God more than he loves you?

Do you love God more than he loves you? I know it sounds like a ridiculous question but without knowing it, I think a lot of us actually live as though we love God more than he loves us. 

SHAME

     

     Wanna know what's on my heart this morning? Shame. It's such an ugly word and such an ugly concept. Many times shame is the thing that stops us from coming to the Lord. Why? Because it makes us feel unworthy of his love. It makes us feel unworthy of changing. It makes us feel unworthy of a new life, of a new mindset, of forgiveness. And the enemy? Oh he LOVES to use shame. The enemy knows that even though we've stopped our old habits and are walking in God's transforming grace, that we still at least remember our past. Therefore, he can always use shame to keep our heads hanging low. 

     Will you grant me a really quick pity party? Okay so...I woke up this morning feeling shame. The first line of my journal entry today was "Looking back, there isn't even a handful of things that I wouldn't do differently". As I'm on this journey I want so bad to move forward. But then I remember that there are people out there who know things and have things that can completely humiliate me. I can just hear them..."Oh you're a 'Christian' now? Remember when you _____???" That thought terrifies me! How can I really be new if all the old stuff is still there waiting to strike me at any given moment?

     You see, in our way of thinking, something new doesn't have a past. A baby, a car with 0 miles, a pair of stark white high top converses ;)...these things are new. But me? New? With my sinful past? With everything I've done? I'm new? How can that possibly be?

     Here is the good news. Before we come to Christ, we walk in our flesh, think in our flesh, and act in our flesh. But when we come to him our old selves are crucified. [We] are crucified with Christ. It is no longer [we] who live but Christ who lives in [us] Galations 2:20. That's right. We are new because we have literally been BORN...AGAIN. 

     So congratulations, you're dead! You have died and now it is Christ who lives inside of you...he lets you be his dwelling place. Man, that is so beautiful! He makes a home inside of you and is now living through you. The ONLY thing that does not die when we come to Christ is our physical bodies, and I believe that God does this to show us how he takes sinners and makes them righteous. He takes us in our hopeless state and redeems us back to life. He wants us to be living proof of his goodness. He wants all the world to see that he can take us from nothing and bring us everything. 

     So what do we say to our feelings of shame? We head to Romans 8:1 and say that there is no condemnation for those who belong to Jesus Christ. If you're feeling shame today, I understand completely. Right now I feel it too. But as we continue to walk with Jesus, let's do our best to remember that he's come to destroy all of that. And if people from your past come to remind you of your past, remember that in Hebrews 8:12, God says he's forgiven your sins and REMEMBERS THEM NO MORE. Please, my love, choose to listen to the creator of the universe over some low life who's coming to bring you down.

I love you always,

Lauren <3

No Dating for One Year

     I have decided to go on a pretty interesting journey. That is, I'm going to be taking one whole year off of dating. Here's some background information. I was in a relationship which ended about 8 months ago (in December 2013). Throughout that time I had really been trying to sort through my feelings of rejection, confusion, and doubt...among other things. I was waiting for God to either restore my previous relationship or bring a new person into my life. Somehow I felt that if either of those two things happened, it would give meaning to the whole situation and everything in my heart and mind would be settled once again. But neither of those things happened and I continued to carry the weight of it all every day. So...what now?

     A few days ago I was taking a walk with my cousin and she told me about a sermon series she watched called "Love Sex and Dating" by Andy Stanley. In the series he talks about how we should stop spending so much time waiting to find the right person, and instead focus our energy on becoming the right person. He poses the question...are you the person that the person you're looking for is looking for? In other words, if you were to meet the person of your dreams today, can you say with all certainty that they would want you back? This whole idea was life changing for me. I want to be married at a young age and this made me realize that my time as a single person is VITAL to my time as a married person. We all need to make use of our seasons of singleness to invest in our future relationships and marriages. 

     In the series he also mentions taking a year off of dating so that you can renew your mind, walk through healing, and ultimately prepare yourself for the relationship God may have for you in the future. My cousin said that she had made this commitment, and feeling very convicted by her words and his, I decided that it would be a wonderful idea for me as well. I want to deepen my walk and my relationship with Jesus. I want to be healed, renewed, delivered, set free. And I also hope to be a really great wife one day. 

     This isn't me giving God a timeline to do his work. It's not me trying to bargain with him or even trying to say that this is a formula you can use to make your problems go away. We know that in this life there will always be tribulation. I'm more doing this to set boundaries for myself. This is a guideline to help me and something for me to stick to. To hear the whole thing, watch the video below. I will be doing an update every month on my YouTube channel, and in between I will come on here and give some tid bits about what God is doing in my own heart.

Love you always,

Lauren <3

A BEAUTIFUL HIGH

"I created beauty to declare the existence of my holy Being. A magnificent rose, a hauntingly glorious sunset, oceanic splendor-- all these things were meant to proclaim My Presence in the world. Most people rush past these proclamations without giving them a second thought...How precious are My children who are awed by nature's beauty; this opens them up to My holy Presence."

-Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

     As a 21st century young adult, I see so many of my peers searching for something that feels good. When we are kids, picking dandelions, swinging on a swing, or gazing at fireworks are enough to give us that feeling of exhilaration. But somewhere along the line, those things dull out and lose their appeal. We start feeling like we're too old or too mature to truly take pleasure in the beauty that God has sprinkled all over the world around us.

     This is when the light starts shining on the fun and wild stuff-- alcohol, drugs, sex, hardcore partying, speeding on the highway. We leave simple and beautiful pleasures behind for destructive pleasures. We take a good thing like sex and completely turn the whole purpose of it inside out. This is the loss of that precious childlike innocence we once had.

     In my own life, I have dipped and dabbed in some very destructive pleasures...ones that God strongly advises us against. I always found that I was really excited before doing them and while doing them, but the aftermath was a completely different story. I was left feeling emptier than I was before. There was another layer of pain coating my heart as I realized that my void had not been filled. It was in those moments that I would think to myself "Why did I think this was a good idea? What has this really done for me?" The lines get blurred and it's very hard to remember why that thing had me so captivated in the first place.

     This is NEVER the case with Godly pleasures. They are just as wonderful in the moment as they are out of the moment. I have yet to regret watching the sun set over the Brooklyn Bridge, or running through a classic New York City summer thunderstorm getting my hair and clothes soaked. You see, the enemy makes it his mission to keep us engrossed in the external. He wants us to continue to participate in things that will please our flesh while they damage us internally. God wants us to participate in things that will please us internally, so that the beauty will radiate outward. God's pleasures go straight to the heart. They touch our deepest places and shape our character.

     I would like to challenge you to lay down your drug of choice-- greasy foods, sex, smoking, etc. -- for a few days. During that time, try all you can to peer into the beauty that surrounds you. This doesn't mean that you have to have a beautiful house, or live in a gorgeous affluent neighborhood. Not at all. There is beauty in the laugh of a child, the wrinkles impressed in a senior's face, the sound of cars passing by, the many hues of color in the morning sky.

     Allow these things to penetrate your senses. Let them in. They were designed to make you aware of God's beautiful presence with you wherever you go. Take part in a beautiful high...one you can access at any moment, one that doesn't cost you your money or your self worth, one that brings you closer to Jesus, one that you can be proud of.

And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory" 

-Isaiah 6:3

Love you always,

Lauren <3

Our Problems, Our God

     Do you see that picture right above? That is the view from my bedroom window. OH  DON'T WORRY, I know it's not very pretty. I took this picture at the best possible angle. This is as much as you can see from my bedroom window. Mostly, all I see is this huge red brick house. Behind it could be anything. Beautiful mountains covered in snow, houses with Christmas lights gleaming, maybe even children at play building snowmen and freezing their backs making snow angels. Regardless of what could be behind it, all I can see is the huge red brick house.

     Isn't life this way sometimes? Most times. I woke up this morning feeling very sad and disappointed about a situation. I got frustrated. I was ready to lash out. I was ready to throw it up and say I DON'T CARE!!! I was ready to turn my back and get bitter. When I tried to see past my problem, all I saw was a huge red brick house. 

     Our eyes are so vital. What we see is usually what makes the difference between truth and falsehood. What we see makes us believe or not believe. 

     Girls and guys, whenever we are in a season of brokenness, we will always see the red brick house. Our puny little human eyes have vision so shallow and unimaginative. Every morning we wake up frustrated about the red brick house. We scream at it, try to knock it down, try to ignore it-- but it never ever goes away. And the truth is, it won't go away on its own! But wait!!! There's more…

     After hanging my head low and sulking for a few minutes, I was reminded not to use my own eyes to look out and try to see past my pain-- but to use my heart to look up at my Heavenly Father. The one who not only knows what's behind the red brick house, but is the only one who can truly knock it down and bring me into victory. 

     Isn't it funny how the best vision comes when we CLOSE our eyes?…When we stop trying to use our powerless human senses, but look to Jesus to fill the gaps for us? 

     I surrendered. I blasted "Cornerstone" by Hillsong (amazing worship song) and fell to my knees in worship. I leaned into what I know to be true because of what God has promised me in his word. He's promised me victory over every disappointment. He's promised me strength in my weakness. He's promised me comfort, a future, a bigger and better life! And this surrender is so sweet because it made me know that even when I do open my eyes again and see the red brick house standing there in its same place, the possibilities rest in His all-powerful, all-knowing love for me. 

     Isn't it exciting to know that the truth of God's word and God's love for us overcomes any and every stumbling block we come upon? Isn't it exciting to know that he is INTIMATELY involved in every detail of our lives…to know that he is God in the good times and in the bad times? We need to remind ourselves every day of what that means. Every day we need to surrender and remind ourselves that HE is God. Not us, not our red brick houses, not our disappointments…but Him. He is God and it's Him that rules!

     What is the red brick house in your way today? Can you not see past your singleness? Are you hoping that God will restore a relationship? Is it a sickness? Is it a financial issue? Looking at it with your eyes will always have you saying "Oh God, I have a big problem". But when you close  your eyes and trust in Him, He will make it so that you can stand up to those problems and say "Oh problem, I have a BIG GOD!". Sweetie, he knows the desires of your heart. He knows how this situation will work out. Trust in Him. And whenever your vision seems to get in the way of God's truth, stop what you're doing and surrender it all to Jesus. And if you're like me and the feelings surge frequently, then every single time they come just do the same thing. Stop what you're doing and surrender it all in worship to Him. The bottom line is that he loves you. 

Read over these verses today. Even highlight them in your bible:

Psalms 37:7 Quiet down before God, be prayerful before him. Don’t bother with those who climb the ladder, who elbow their way to the top.

Romans 5:3-4 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.